Embracing Motherhood: How the Chaos of Parenting has Transformed My Mental Health

As my husband and I anticipate the arrival of our fourth child, it seems only natural to reflect on my journey of motherhood. Motherhood is often portrayed as a whirlwind of sleepless nights, tantrums, and messes, and this resonates deeply with many, including myself. Yet, I've discovered that the very challenges that can be overwhelming and unpredictable can lead to profound personal growth. Instead of harming my mental health, I've embraced the ups and downs that is inherent with parenting which has resulted in strength and resilience.

In this post, I'll share how motherhood has improved my mental health and resilience and the valuable life lessons I've learned along the way, but before I begin, I do have to offer a word of caution. It could be tempting to read this post and end with the conclusion that motherhood could cure a women's mental health symptoms. That is not the message I wish to convey here, and I would in fact argue the opposite: that it is important for a woman to be emotionally healthy before bringing a new life into this world. My intention with this post is to share my personal journey on how improved mental wellness has been a byproduct of motherhood in my parenting journey.

Embracing motherhood plays an important role in a mother's mental wellbeing

Embracing Flexibility

One of the first lessons I learned from being a mother was the need to embrace the fact that things don't always go according to plan. Prior to having children, I believed in having everything organized. I stuck to strict schedules, and any deviation would cause me stress. However, bringing my first child home completely shifted my perspective and allowed me to embrace flexibility.

I can recall the times when I would plan family outings, only to have my child wake up sick or go into a store only to have to walk out without purchasing a thing because of a tantrum. These unexpected situations taught me the value of being flexible. Understanding that life with kids rarely unfolds perfectly lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I came to realize that it's fine not to micromanage every moment, to let the chores pile up, and to make plans only to have to adjust them later on.

Cultivating Patience

Aside from being flexible, I have come to value patience within myself. In the early stages of motherhood, I quickly realized that babies have their own timetables, toddlers are meant to play, and young children crave their parents' presence.

Initially, it was challenging to deal with conflicting schedules. However, managing these demands helped me to cherish the quiet and slow moments. Rather than resisting the interruptions and feeling resentful, I chose to accept them, resulting in a positive effect on my mental health.

The Strength of Self-Discipline

Experiencing motherhood highlighted the significance of self-discipline. The journey of pregnancy and parenting demands a considerable amount of self-control. From the onset of pregnancy, it became evident that my body was no longer solely mine, requiring substantial self-discipline and self-restraint to regulate dietary choices, engage in physical activities to prevent cramping, and prioritize sufficient rest in order to make it through the day. However, the practice of self-discipline in so many different areas of my life (e.g. eating a healthy diet, stretching and exercising, going to bed instead of scrolling endlessly on a screen, learning how to pick my battles between arguing siblings, etc.) created a strong foundation for our family's emotional, physical, and spiritual development.

Seasons of Life

Motherhood also taught me to view life as a series of seasons, each with unique challenges and joys. During tough phases—sleepless nights, potty training, and behavioral challenges—I often felt those moments would last forever. However, time showed me that struggles are temporary as I would repeat my mantra "this is just a season." All seasons, whether good or bad, eventually pass.

Understanding that both trials and triumphs pass can be liberating. This perspective fosters resilience as I navigate difficulties, appreciating the cherished moments, knowing they too are fleeting. This seasonal mindset puts things into perspective by providing clarity in challenging times.

Uncovering Hidden Strengths

One of the most surprising benefits of motherhood has been discovering my own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength. Early on, I doubted my ability to handle the pregnancies that seemed to drag on forever and the daily demands of parenting. Many days, I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water or that I was a complete failure as a mother. Yet, as time progressed, I began to recognize and acknowledge my inner strength.

Motherhood pushes you to your limits—physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually—but somehow, it has revealed a strength inside of me that I did not know I had. Investing time in self-care—whether praying, asking for help, reading, exercising, or connecting with family and friends—has been key for me as a mother and bolsters the strength and resilience of parenting.

The Gift of Love

One of the most profound lessons I've learned from motherhood is that true love multiplies, rather than divides. Choosing to pick up after my kids, read them bedtime stories, or comfort them reinforces the virtue of charity - that love is selfless and self-giving.

While these choices often come with sacrifices, they highlight a mother's capacity to give. Saying yes to love adds to my emotional wealth, as well as the emotional wealth of my family. This understanding has enriched my mental health tremendously. The emotional rewards of love, kindness, and selflessness return to me tenfold.

Reflecting on My Journey

Looking back on my motherhood journey, I see it as a tapestry woven with chaos, laughter, frustration, and growth. While the challenges often test my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, they have also nurtured resilience and mental wellness.

Through embracing flexibility, cultivating patience, practicing self-discipline, focusing on what matters, understanding that life is made up of seasons, discovering my strengths, and practicing love, my mental landscape was transformed.

Ultimately, motherhood teaches me that even amid the messiness, there's a powerful opportunity for personal growth. I began this journey unsure of what to expect and even frightened at the prospect of being a parent, but the lessons learned along the way equipped me to navigate life with better health and resilience.

Sharing my story, I hope to encourage others on their journeys, reminding them that motherhood, while challenging, is also a profound teacher of love, resilience, and mental wellness.